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Sunday, February 05, 2012

[ePalestine] NO PERMISSION FOR THE BLANKET!

Dear friends, 

On December 09, 2011, I wrote about my friend, Walid Abu Rass, who was arrested by Israeli soldiers from his home at 1:30am in front of his wife and two young daughters. To read that story visit: http://bit.ly/walidaburass  

I must thank all of you who took action based on the news of Walid’s arrest. Some of your letters and efforts have reached high levels in the Israeli executive and legislative bodies, but sadly, none have brought about his release, just yet, that is. 

Walid is still being held under what Israel calls Administrative Detention, which means he is detained without charge and neither he, his family, nor his attorney are told why. His fear now is the same that it was when he went through this nightmare of Administrative Detention before, that the six month sentence will be extended for another six months. As Walid’s wife recently noted, “Administrative detention has a beginning but doesn’t have an end.” This is the routine Palestinians have become accustomed to. I refuse to accept all of this, his arrest and his possible sentence extension. 

Last week, I met with Walid’s attorney and the prisoner’s support organization following up his case, Addameer ( http://www.addameer.org/ ). Walid appealed his six month sentence and lost, as most Palestinian prisoners do, given the military court system is part and parcel of the military occupation. He is being held in the Ofer Detention Center on the outskirts of Ramallah. This detention center is ill-equipped and overcrowded. Prisoners are complaining of many human rights abuses, but most critical right now is the lack of heat and blankets. Ramallah is facing one of its coldest winters in recent memory. 

Yesterday, I visited Walid’s wife, Bayan, and two beautiful daughters, Mays, 13 years old, and Malak, 4 years old. His daughters are only slightly younger than my own. The burden that befalls mother in such situations is worthy of acknowledgement. Palestinian women remain the backbone of this society, albeit many times as silent heroes.  

Mays explained to me how her last visit to the prison to visit her father went. She spoke in great detail. I asked if she could write it so I may distribute it for others to see how families are treated. She did. Below is Mays recollection of her last visit to see her dad. The are allowed a visit behind a glass wall every other Sunday. 

I urge each and every one of you to continue demanding Walid’s release. There is no reason, whatsoever, for him to be detained. If Israel thinks otherwise, they should charge him. If they can’t, then let the man return to his wife and daughters now! And in the meantime, Israel must let the Red Cross deliver ample blankets to the thousands of Palestinian prisoners who they are detaining! 

Given legal proceedings have been exhausted, there is a single person who can issue the order to release Walid:

Deputy Prime Minister &
Minister of Defence
Ehud Barak
Ministry of Defence
37 Kaplan Street
Hakirya, Tel Aviv 61909
Israel
Fax: +972.3.691.6940
Email: minister@mod.gov.il 

Pleading for common sense to prevail, for Mays and Malak’s sake,
Sam 

---

NO PERMISSION FOR THE BLANKET! 

“No permission for the blanket!” This sentence is the only sentence I heard from them. 

Sunday is my day. My mom told us that we had permission to visit my dad. That night I did not sleep at all from my excitement. It has been one and a half months without seeing my dad. He was taken by the Israeli occupation with no reason! My dream is to know why he was taken. 

I wake up really early that day and wear my best clothes. My sister was really exited and kept asking me how we are going to visit our dad.  I was debating my answer because explaining the way is too complicated to tell such a young girl. We took some clothes and a blanket for my dad because it’s so cold over there. We also took some sandwiches for us in order to eat them while we wait. 

We are now standing in front of the big door of the prison. We are WAITING, WAITING and WAITING. Nothing new is happening; every time we saw a couple of soldiers coming we jump up like crazy people thinking they are coming to open the door. Then we go back to the same position, WAITING, WAITING and WAITING. My sister is asking me “do we need more time? I am really bored.” I don’t have any answer for her. 

Two hours pass, finally the huge door opens; at that moment, I thought all the hard part is gone and now the easy thing is coming: joy for just seeing my dad. We hold all the clothes and the blanket that we brought to give to my dad. But it is not the end yet; we got to the window where we can give the soldiers what we brought for the prisoners. I hold the clothes and stand in the row for hours. When the solider called me I ran to the window and put every single thing I have including the blanket. He told me, “NO PERMISSION FOR THE BLANKET.” I was shocked. I started asking WHY? He told me with anger, “NO PERMISSION FOR THE BLANKET!” I told him please, just this blanket. It’s cold inside. He said with blunt words: “NO PERMISSION FOR THE BLANKET!” I took everything and put them back inside my bag with a sad face. There is only one thing turning in my mind, I think how really precious this blanket is right now. It is the most precious thing for my dad. 

Another huge door is opened and we enter to be checked now. They took our phones, wristwatches, and keys—everything that is related to the free life outside. 

It is not the end yet. We go trough another small door in order to take off our shoes and jackets. Now we are told to pass through some big machine. My mom tries to tell the solider that children are not supposed to be exposed to this radiation machine. He says enter or leave. So we enter, all of us, including my baby sister. 

After getting checked, they put us in a small room. We are around 50 people, children, women, and men. They closed the door and we are left together with just one small disgusting bathroom. Time is not moving. We are waiting in a room without a clock, no talking is allowed. A group of silent faces are just waiting and any sound of keys make us all stand up, thinking that it is the end of our wait. Hours are gone and we do not know the exact time. Finally, a solider came, but it was another one of their games to let us jump up again to think that it is time to enter. After few minutes, he went away. And here we are still WAITING, WAITING, WAITING. 

Then, the door is open. Now every single person, young and old, are laughing running inside in order to use every single minute of the visit. The room is too small. I start looking around trying to find my dad, finally I saw him. He was smiling right at my face. My sister was dazzled, she starts kissing the glass between us and my dad. Between me and my dad are only a few centimeters. I can’t touch him or hug him. We pick up the phones that allow us to talk to him. There is no voice. The phones are still turned off. The stopwatch on the wall is at 00:00:00. Then the timer starts, we can start talking for 45 minutes, exactly, but this passes like seconds. I could not tell him everything I feel because every single thing we say is listened to by the soldiers. After 45 minutes, exactly, the phone goes silent again. Visiting time is over. The soldiers start pushing us outside of the room. Their words were, “go out, out!” 

I still keep thinking about the blanket that I couldn’t give to my dad. I left, holding the blanket and looking back at the door of the prison. I was crying. My dad is going to sleep in the winter cold forever. All of you are sitting in your warm houses and my dad is locked up without a blanket. 

Your daughter, 
Mays Abu Rass 
February 5, 2012 



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[ePalestine] HRW: Israel’s Control of Palestinian Residency in the West Bank and Gaza

Human Rights Watch

NEW REPORT 

“Forget About Him, He’s Not Here”

Israel’s Control of Palestinian Residency in the West Bank and Gaza 




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Wednesday, February 01, 2012

[ePalestine] TWIP: Globalized Palestine The National Sell-Out of a Homeland (By Khalil Nakhleh)

This Week in Palestine

Book of the Month

Globalized Palestine The National Sell-Out of a Homeland 

By Khalil Nakhleh 

The Red Sea Press, Inc., 2012; 286 pages 

An introductory comment 

I started working full time on the initial draft of this book, in English, about three years ago. While I was seeking a publisher for the English edition, I was determined to have it appear in Arabic first, and in Palestine, because I sought for it to generate national public discourse on our transformation and future, as a people struggling for freedom and emancipation. Indeed, the Arabic edition was published in Ramallah in May 2011. It must be mentioned with appreciation that the translation into Arabic, the publication, and the distribution to public libraries in historical Palestine were possible because of the support of the Rosa Luxemburg Foundation, and the total commitment and determination of its Ramallah staff. 

Why now? 

Over a span of twenty-five years, or since I stopped being engaged in teaching and research as an academic anthropologist, and shifted to becoming an “applied” anthropologist, or working in the field of so-called “development,” I became preoccupied with how to transform Palestinian society and people - my society and people - from an occupied, colonised, and fragmented society towards a liberated, productive, free, and self-generating society, not dependent on external financial aid. It was, and continues to be, a deeply reflective, agonising, and personal process of thought, analysis, and action, in which I was engaged as a genuine “participant observer,” through which I was aspiring to see at the end of the tunnel a society with a tightly knit social fabric empowered by coherent political, economic, and liberating human values that would rise against colonialism, oppression, and despotism. This book is, in a certain sense, a partial end result of this reflective and analytic process. 

Through an introduction and four chapters, and by relying on a micro-analytic approach, benefiting from my personal experience as an engaged participant- observer, the book challenges and criticises the various fragmented, non-cumulative, deceptive, and mythological attempts to “develop” Palestinian society over the span of the last thirty years. It is a study of Palestinian “development”: the development of the people, the society, and the political-economic system. It is about how truncated, distorted, and mythological the official claim of Palestinian “development” is and has become. Basically, it is about the role of an informal tri-partite coalition of Palestinian capitalists-political elite, Palestinian “developmental” NGOs, and transnational “aid” agencies in impeding, obstructing, and negating what I call, “People-Centered Liberationist Development” (PCLD). As argued throughout this work, PCLD is inherently a process of social and political self-determination and liberation; and, as such, it aims primarily at resisting and ending foreign occupation, colonialism, and hegemony, as well as internally perpetuated apartheid, be it political, economic, or social. 

I claim throughout this book that there is an inherent incongruence between Palestinian absolute dependence on Western transnational aid and the Palestinian official expectation that financial aid, whose primary source emanates from Western governments and/or agencies, is the avenue to developing and emancipating Palestinian people and society from the poverty and pauperisation created by the colonial system of occupation, and is supported and sustained by these same sources. I assert that aid advanced to Palestine under prolonged occupation and colonialism is political aid par excellence, advanced to my people, specifically to acquiesce and submit to an imposed political agenda and programme. Such aid shackles, mortgages, and holds hostage the entire current society and future generations in political and economic debt. It is aid that focuses on consumption and mortgaging people. It is aid that is anti-production and anti-liberation. 

Although this book is about Palestine, it is not exclusively so. It is also about the important lessons that we can learn from South Africa since 1994, when apartheid was transformed into a social category of control, oppression, and a system of exploitation by the people’s own indigenous self-proclaimed leadership. It is also about Latin America and about many other struggling peoples, in whom the current Palestinian struggle is embedded, and cannot be but embedded, thanks to the global process of colonisation and emerging re-colonisation. 

Since Palestine is still effectively under the hold of Zionist settler colonialism, I benefitted from carefully re-reading and reviewing the work of Frantz Fanon about colonised countries in Africa, and countries where colonisation was formally terminated, but where developments strike an eerie resemblance to twenty-first- century Palestine. From this vantage point, the current analysis cannot be only an analysis of Palestine today; it is an analysis of a wider scope: how the “political economy of the oppressed,” or the “political economy of the occupied,” may look in the globalised twenty-first century. 

I am sounding serious “alarm bells” for what may happen to us - the Palestinian people and society - if we persist on this path of zealous acquiescence to neoliberal agendas imposed on us by the United State, Israel, Western transnational aid agencies, and corporate finance. In this book, I call clearly and openly for strategic counter “re-engineering” measures that span our perceived collective national consciousness, our prevalent political environment since Oslo, our prevalent economic investment environment, and the abusive role of Palestinian capitalists to maximise their profits. I advocate a need for a determined and purposeful “re- engineering” of the prevalent environment of the tyranny of transnational aid agencies, and the function of such aid, as well as a conscious effort at “re- engineering” the prevalent social, cultural, and normative environment. 

I don’t claim to offer magical recipes for our collective emancipation. I claim that together we can and should be able to harness our collective creative indigenous energies if we’re determined to liberate ourselves. I hope that this book will be helpful towards this end. 

Khalil Nakhleh is a Palestinian anthropologist from Galilee who has been residing in this part of the homeland for the last 19 years. He may be reached at abusama@palnet.com.




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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

[ePalestine] After a lifetime abroad, Fida Jiryis explores returning to the state of Israel

One of the few who have realized the right of return! May there be many more soon!


Homeland is home,
Sam



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Saturday, January 28, 2012

[ePalestine] Jadaliyya: In Colonial Shoes: Notes on the Material Afterlife in Post-Oslo Palestine

Jadaliyya 

In Colonial Shoes: Notes on the Material Afterlife in Post- Oslo Palestine 

by Sophia Stamatopoulou-Robbins 


Solid (un-wasted) Writing,
Sam



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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

[ePalestine] Bitterlemons: The writing has always been on the wall (by Sam Bahour)

TO READ ONLINE: http://bit.ly/x6VNcN

Bitterlemons.org

A PALESTINIAN VIEW 

The writing has always been on the wall 

Sam Bahour 

The human body is an amazing creation. It's not only the most complex system known to mankind, but it embodies within it signals that tell its owner that something has gone wrong. A similar signaling system exists in political bodies. Those tasked with reading the signals--be they individuals, physicians or politicians--can choose to consciously ignore the warning signs. The Middle East peace process between Palestinians and Israelis has been emitting SOS signals for decades, but only recently are those signals being received and analyzed for what they are transmitting- -a clear and irreversible message that the entire paradigm of "two states for two peoples" has collapsed. 

Like doctors who peddle medications instead of practicing medicine, many politicians are under the influence of their narrow political interests and prefer not to call situations by their name. After so many years of failure--political, legal, diplomatic and economic--those who are paid to diagnose and treat reality are being replaced with voices from all corners of the world, voices convincingly making the case that the entire premise undertaken by the Palestine Liberation Organization, starting as far back as 1974, is no longer feasible.  

Some will say that the PLO was tricked by the West into a path that was never intended to succeed. Others may claim that the PLO had no option but to acquiesce to the pressures placed upon it to enter, more recently, the Oslo peace process, in hopes that the West (mainly the US) would then pull its weight in bringing Israel in line with international law and UN resolutions. Regardless of the analysis of the past, very few people on the ground who are intimately involved in the attempt to resolve the Palestinian-Israeli "conflict" would venture to spend any additional political credit on the notion that two independent states, Israel and Palestine, remain a way out of this man-made tragedy.  

The measures were many, each of them a warning signal that sounded over and over again, but largely fell on deaf ears. The ignoring of a refugee population. A prolonged military occupation, unaccountable to the Fourth Geneva Convention. The launching of the illegal Israeli settlement project. The continued use of military force against Palestinians wherever they reside: Jordan, Lebanon, inside Israel, or the occupied territory. Assassinations and mass murder of Palestinians, from Lebanon to Tunis to every Palestinian city, in broad daylight for all to see. Seven hundred and fifty thousand Palestinians arrested and detained, many without charge and many tortured. A lopsided peace agreement (Oslo) that merely institutionalized the reality of military occupation. The election of Israeli prime ministers who, one after another, represented political programs that explicitly forbade the emergence of another state between the Mediterranean Sea and Jordan River. The list goes on and on. Each one of these signals emitted a deafening sound that was heard by all, and ignored by all who could change the course of events.  

One of Israel's founding ministers of education and culture, Professor Ben-Zion Dinur, said it most sharply, according to the book "History of the Haganah": "In our country there is room only for the Jews. We shall say to the Arabs: Get out! If they don't agree, if they resist, we shall drive them out by force." With this theme as its explicit backdrop, it is no wonder that newly-established Israel had little chance of being a normal state among the community of nations. These words rang out long before the creation of the PLO and long before the unacceptable phenomenon of suicide bombings entered the scene.  

Israel was founded on the infamous fallacy that it was built on a "land with no people, for a people with no land." Instead of acknowledging that this fallacy is a form of outright racism, Israel is legislating it into its laws. Since its inception, Israel has arrogantly refused to address the most crucial prerequisite of its establishment as a conventional state: accepting the Palestinians, those people that just happened to be living in that "empty" land that Israel was created on.  

After over six decades of conflict and dispossession of the Palestinians, and after two decades of Palestinian political recognition of Israel on part of their lands, the Israeli people choose to sustain the conflict. They are bent not only on keeping their boot of occupation on the necks of Palestinians living under it, but on embarking on an accelerated path to disenfranchise, yet again, Palestinians who remained in Israel and assumed Israeli citizenship.  

Today, Israel seems determined, more than ever, to forcefully prove the original premise of its statehood--an Israel with moveable borders and a Jewish-only population. Twelve Israeli prime ministers before Binyamin Netanyahu, six of them after the signing of Oslo, have failed at this nonsensical endeavor. He, too, will fail. If Israel cannot produce a leader to move the country from being a pariah to being a member of the Middle East, only Israel's Jewish population will be to blame.  

This should not come as a surprise for Israelis who have studied their own history. Israel's founding prime minister, David Ben-Gurion, understood it well when he said, "Why should the Arabs make peace? If I were an Arab leader, I would never make terms with Israel. That is natural: we have taken their country. Sure, God promised it to us, but what does that matter to them? There has been anti-Semitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz, but was that their fault? They only see one thing: we came here and stole their country. Why should they accept that?" The fact of the matter is: Palestinians even accepted "that" and are still being rejected and punished.  

It is clear that Israel has no plans to reach any form of lasting peace with Palestinians or concede to a two-state solution. Its spread of illegal settlements in the occupied Palestinian territory has created new facts on the ground that make it impossible to form a contiguous Palestinian state, even on the 22 percent of historic Palestine that Palestinians have been reduced to and agreed upon.  

In light of this continuing Israeli policy of outright aggression and negation of Palestinian rights, Israelis should prepare themselves for the next generation of Palestinians, a much more savvy generation interlinked with a global world and a region that values rights over an artificial border. Soon, if the current trajectory continues, Palestinians will tell Israelis: "You win! You get it all--the West Bank, Jerusalem, Gaza, the Jordan Valley, the settlements, all the water, and guess what? You get us too! Now, where do we sign up for our health care cards?" -Published 23/1/2012 © bitterlemons.org 

Sam Bahour is a Ramallah-based management consultant.




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Monday, January 23, 2012

[ePalestine] A Testing Ground (by Little Girl Behind a Big Wall BLOG)

TO READ ONLINE: bit.ly/zKrNBy

Little Girl Behind a Big Wall

A Testing Ground 

Posted on January 2, 2012

I grumble as I wait in the line of cars at the checkpoint. At least, there are only a few cars in front of me and the soldiers are moving quickly. As I approach the checkpoint, I roll down my window and flash my passport. 

In Hebrew, I am told to go straight and up the hill- not the usual left to exit the checkpoint. It is amazing what can all be communicated with a single point of a finger and a grunt. It seems that the mere presence of an M16 can help in understanding foreign languages. 

As I drive to the designated area, there are soldiers pointing myself and 5 other cars (all Palestinian) towards selected parking spots. Every spot has an apparatus next to it, which looks like a giant IV that you would find in a hospital. I am told to get out of my vehicle with all my windows shut, except the driver window, which should be 5 cm open. 

I get out of my vehicle and stand next to the Palestinians who have also had to abandon their cars. Soldiers wander around the cars, one with a stopwatch. It is obviously a drill of some kind. With complete disregard for our schedules or impending meetings, the soldiers are taking the opportunity to practice and test Practice on a population without any kind of consent, but that does not seem to matter. Consent is never asked or required from a people under occupation. They are the occupied and at the whims of their occupiers. 

From the IV apparatus next to our parked cars, soldiers put a hose into our driver side window. It reminds of movies where the someone tries to commit suicide by filling their car with exhaust. Some of the people ask the soldiers what they are doing. Their response is, that it is for security and that it is fine. There is no comment as to what or why they are  spraying some sort of chemical into our vehicles. 

After 10 minutes the soldier with the stopwatch stops his clock. The hoses are removed from our cars and we are allowed to continue onwards to Jerusalem. We are permitted to go on with our day. We are permitted to go on living. 

Yet the smell from the gas still lingering in my car is assaulting. Even though it is cold outside, I drive with my windows down. Unfortunately nothing will stop my impending headache. For the next four days, whenever I drive my car I have a headache. Yet, my whining and complaints are futile. 

An occupied population is a crucial experimental ground for the occupier. Israel views the Palestinian people as a dispensable people- a testing ground for ‘security’ apparatuses and weapons that are later exported globally. Tear gas technology, stink spray, rubber bullets, and gassing cars are all tested here before they are exported. If too many Palestinians end up dying from the gas, or there is an international outcry, it won’t be exported, if it found ‘effective’ it will be sold worldwide and used by governments on their own people, such as at G20 protests. 

While, western governments buy these security apparatuses and support a government that does testing on human beings we are not surprised when cancer becomes more prominent to people under occupation. We are not surprised when children in Gaza are increasingly born with birth defects. In the mean time, my head hurts from the smell gas but I am already half an hour late for my meeting, so there is              
no time to complain.



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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

[ePalestine] Fighting a Forbidden Battle: How I Stopped Covering Up for a Hidden Wrong

Superb, but he will still need to learn the difference between his, yet great, religion and how it was hijacked by Zionism. 

---

Dietrich College News 
January 2012 
2012 Martin Luther King, Jr. Writing Awards 
Prose: High School 
First Place (Tie) 

Fighting a Forbidden Battle: How I Stopped Covering Up for a Hidden Wrong

By Jesse Lieberfeld 11th grade, Winchester Thurston  

I once belonged to a wonderful religion. I belonged to a religion that allows those of us who believe in it to feel that we are the greatest people in the world—and feel sorry for ourselves at the same time. Once, I thought that I truly belonged in this world of security, self-pity, self-proclaimed intelligence, and perfect moral aesthetic. I thought myself to be somewhat privileged early on. It was soon revealed to me, however, that my fellow believers and I were not part of anything so flattering. 

Although I was fortunate enough to have parents who did not try to force me into any one set of beliefs, being Jewish was in no way possible to escape growing up. It was constantly reinforced at every holiday, every service, and every encounter with the rest of my relatives. I was forever reminded how intelligent my family was, how important it was to remember where we had come from, and to be proud of all the suffering our people had overcome in order to finally achieve their dream in the perfect society of Israel. 

This last mandatory belief was one which I never fully understood, but I always kept the doubts I had about Israel’s spotless reputation to the back of my mind. “Our people” were fighting a war, one I did not fully comprehend, but I naturally assumed that it must be justified. We would never be so amoral as to fight an unjust war. Yet as I came to learn more about our so-called “conflict” with the Palestinians, I grew more concerned. I routinely heard about unexplained mass killings, attacks on medical bases, and other alarmingly violent actions for which I could see no possible reason. “Genocide” almost seemed the more appropriate term, yet no one I knew would have ever dreamed of portraying the war in that manner; they always described the situation in shockingly neutral terms. Whenever I brought up the subject, I was always given the answer that there were faults on both sides, that no one was really to blame, or simply that it was a “difficult situation.” It was not until eighth grade that I fully understood what I was on the side of. One afternoon, after a fresh round of killings was announced on our bus ride home, I asked two of my friends who actively supported Israel what they thought. “We need to defend our race,” they told me. “It’s our right.” 

“We need to defend our race.” 

Where had I heard that before? Wasn’t it the same excuse our own country had used to justify its abuses of African-Americans sixty years ago? In that moment, I realized how similar the two struggles were—like the white radicals of that era, we controlled the lives of another people whom we abused daily, and no one could speak out against us. It was too politically incorrect to do so. We had suffered too much, endured too many hardships, and overcome too many losses to be criticized. I realized then that I was in no way part of a “conflict”—the term “Israeli/Palestinian Conflict” was no more accurate than calling the Civil Rights Movement the “Caucasian/ African-American Conflict.” In both cases, the expression was a blatant euphemism: it gave the impression that this was a dispute among equals and that both held an equal share of the blame. However, in both, there was clearly an oppressor and an oppressed, and I felt horrified at the realization that I was by nature on the side of the oppressors. I was grouped with the racial supremacists. I was part of a group that killed while praising its own intelligence and reason. I was part of a delusion. 

I thought of the leader of the other oppressed side of years ago, Martin Luther King. He too had been part of a struggle that had been hidden and glossed over for the convenience of those against whom he fought. What would his reaction have been? As it turned out, it was precisely the same as mine. As he wrote in his letter from Birmingham Jail, he believed the greatest enemy of his cause to be “Not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who...lives by a mythical concept of time.... Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.” When I first read those words, I felt as if I were staring at myself in a mirror. All my life I had been conditioned to simply treat the so-called conflict with the same apathy which King had so forcefully condemned. I, too, held the role of an accepting moderate. I, too, “lived by a mythical concept of time,” shrouded in my own surreal world and the set of beliefs that had been assigned to me. I had never before felt so trapped. 

I decided to make one last appeal to my religion. If it could not answer my misgivings, no one could. The next time I attended a service, there was an open question-and- answer session about any point of our religion. I wanted to place my dilemma in as clear and simple terms as I knew how. I thought out my exact question over the course of the seventeen-minute cello solo that was routinely played during service. Previously, I had always accepted this solo as just another part of the program, yet now it seemed to capture the whole essence of our religion: intelligent and well- crafted on paper, yet completely oblivious to the outside world (the soloist did not have the faintest idea of how masterfully he was putting us all to sleep). When I was finally given the chance to ask a question, I asked, “I want to support Israel. But how can I when it lets its army commit so many killings?” I was met with a few angry glares from some of the older men, but the rabbi answered me. “It is a terrible thing, isn’t it?” he said. “But there’s nothing we can do. It’s just a fact of life.” I knew, of course, that the war was no simple matter and that we did not by any means commit murder for its own sake, but to portray our thousands of killings as a “fact of life” was simply too much for me to accept. I thanked him and walked out shortly afterward. I never went back. I thought about what I could do. If nothing else, I could at least try to free myself from the burden of being saddled with a belief I could not hold with a clear conscience. I could not live the rest of my life as one of the pathetic moderates whom King had rightfully portrayed as the worst part of the problem. I did not intend to go on being one of the Self-Chosen People, identifying myself as part of a group to which I did not belong. 

It was different not being the ideal nice Jewish boy. The difference was subtle, yet by no means unaffecting. Whenever it came to the attention of any of our more religious family friends that I did not share their beliefs, I was met with either a disapproving stare and a quick change of the subject or an alarmed cry of, “What? Doesn’t Israel matter to you?” Relatives talked down to me more afterward, but eventually I stopped noticing the way adults around me perceived me. It was worth it to no longer feel as though I were just another apathetic part of the machine. 

I can obviously never know what it must have been like to be an African-American in the 1950s. I do feel, however, as though I know exactly what it must have been like to be white during that time, to live under an aura of moral invincibility, to hold unchallengeable beliefs, and to contrive illusions of superiority to avoid having to face simple everyday truths. That illusion was nice while it lasted, but I decided to pass it up. I have never been happier. 




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